Tri Ouch

Well, this is sobering.

They have started posting the results. The overall scores are out, but not the individual events.

Not only did I come in dead-last for my age group (45-49), but the guy who came in second-to-last beat me by over 15 minutes. Ouch. I was also slower than everyone in the 50-54, 55-59, 65-69 and 70-99 age groups.

I did beat the times of two 25-29 year-olds, but their numbers are so far off that I can only assume they had flat tires or some other catastrophe.

So, why do I care? Why did I do this? Obviously not to win. If I met my own goals, should I care that my score looks pathetic, out there for all the world to see? No, I shouldn't care. I didn't think I would care. In theory, I did this for 3 reasons (in no particular order) -- 1. fun way to get myself in overall better health, 2. to knock something off my "bucket list", and 3. to have a fun time with good friends. All of which I accomplished successfully, so why do I care that my score is so "bad"?

I care. It feels humiliating. It feels like it would be better to not race at all than to put up such pathetic numbers. It's not a rational feeling but it is real.

So, how do I react to this?
a. "I guess triathlon is just not right for me. I should find something else to do with my time"
b. "Oooh, now I'm motivated! I'm going to get a swim coach and a better bike and train twice as hard, and I swear next time I will put up respectable numbers"
c. "Hey, I'll just keep doing triathlons and if I keep coming in last, who cares? As long as I'm having fun, my times don't matter!"
d. "I am a sad, pathetic worm, and I will crawl into my room and never show my face outside again"

Wouldn't it be great if I was the kind of guy who could answer (c) and not even struggle with it? Being so much at peace with myself would be a greater triumph than any triathlon win anyhow. But I'm not there; not yet.

Looks like I need more training.